Get The Ball Rolling | All About Executive Dysfunction
I really love writing here on Medium. So why don’t I do it more often?
I could say it’s just that I’m busy with schoolwork, because sometimes it takes me a while to get it done. The reason? I often spend time just doing nothing instead. Now, that sounds like procrastination and pure and simple laziness, which I used to believe… until I noticed that I was also procrastinating on things I actually wanted to do. Sometimes, after finishing my work, I’ll decide to go get a snack, but end up just sitting at my desk for a half hour before standing up. If this sounds like you, you’re not the only one.
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, we are gathered here today to discuss executive dysfunction. It’s a common occurrence among neurodivergent people, defined as a lapse in skills such as multitasking and paying attention. It often manifests in an unexplained unwillingness or inability to do simple things.
I just want to clear up something: executive dysfunction is NOT the same as consciously procrastinating or just being lazy. It’s the product of being anxious and overwhelmed by the task at hand, which I’ll get to later.
The best way I can describe the feeling of executive dysfunction is this: imagine you’re at a crosswalk, and you press the button that’s supposed to signal that the traffic cycle is supposed to adjust to let you cross the street. But when you press the button, it says “Wait”. Then thirty seconds later, you press it again, but it says “Wait” again. Minutes pass, and no matter how hard you mash the button, your light hasn’t changed to green yet.
I constantly struggle with executive functioning issues. Sometimes it occurs to me to do an assignment for school, but then an unseen force that almost feels like anxiety will keep me from actually writing anything, and before I know it two hours will pass and I’m staring at a blank page.
It’s not just work, though. I’ll be sitting at my desk in my room, when suddenly I get a notification that there’s a package waiting for me in the campus mailroom. While, on a conscious level, I know that I should want to get the package as soon as possible (fun fact about me, I love getting mail), I often just end up sitting around until the mailroom closes.
It’s not a perfect rule of thumb, but if you find yourself procrastinating on things you WANT to do, things that are traditionally considered pleasurable or self-indulgent, then it’s executive dysfunction, not laziness.
So how do I overcome it? After all, it’s a constant in my life, but I still manage to get things done. The question is, how?
I just want to preface this by saying that I am only speaking for me here. This is not a one-size-fits-all perspective or solution. Anybody who does claim to be peddling a one-size-fits-all solution to mental health issues is a liar, and probably not a licensed professional.
It might be helpful to explain it like this:
The way I see it, executive dysfunction’s relationship with productivity is like the relationship between inertia and momentum. Momentum is defined as the tendency of a body to remain in motion, and inertia is the tendency of a body to oppose the change in its position. Executive dysfunction, after all, can be best described as, or at least feels like, resistance to motion.
So in this case, how do you change inertia into momentum? How do you push yourself over that crest?
Let’s say, for instance, I have an essay due. First, I plan out how many paragraphs I want it to be. Then, I wait until I feel productive, and I write down one sentence in each paragraph of my essay. This gives me a feel for what I’m eventually going to write down.
After that, it becomes easier to complete the assignment. Basically, I give myself a prompt for each paragraph, then write a few sentences based on it. It works like a charm. This doesn’t happen all at once, and I don’t force it to. It can take a few days of stretching out this process until the assignment is complete.
(By the way, on a semi-related note, all those people who have been telling you to “not do things halfway” were doing you a huge disservice. Listen to me right now: something is usually better than nothing. If you can’t bring yourself to clean your whole room, at least make your bed. A couple handfuls of cereal is better than not eating anything.)
Breaking things into small steps helps in other contexts, too. For instance, if you lack the motivation to shower because it feels like too much work, find a 2–in-1 shampoo/ conditioner to speed up the process. Better yet, depending on your skin/hair care needs, there are even certain body washes that also function as shampoo and conditioner!
With a few exceptions, you don’t need to do things on a strict timetable, and you can complete them when it’s right for you. Many neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, may find that they’re more productive at night. For various reasons, I’m more or less nocturnal, sleeping through most of the day until I have classes, then working through the evenings as soon as I get my second wind. Nighttime is when I thrive; my mood is at its highest then, I feel more motivation then, and it’s when I get some of my best ideas. Sometimes, when it’s late at night and I’m just typing away at my keyboard, getting all of my thoughts on paper, it feels like nothing can stop me.
None of this is me trying to say ‘just do the thing!”. I’m not denying that sometimes it’s hard to do anything at all. I’m just suggesting some things that have worked for me. Seek professional help if you need additional advice on overcoming productivity issues.
“But why don’t you just fix your schedule so it’s like a normal person’s? Why don’t you do more work at a time! I bet you just need to try harder!”
I know it sounds cliché to say “it’s not that simple”, but… yeah, that’s all I got.
Looking back on what I’ve written so far, I realize that explaining executive dysfunction to people who don’t experience it is almost impossible. When I try, one of three things happen:
- They say, “I’m sorry to hear that. Even though I’ve never felt like that, I’m still here for you”.
- They say, “But what if you just… did it? What’s keeping you from doing the thing?”.
- They accuse me of making excuses for being lazy.
But this isn’t primarily for those people. It’s for people who do experience executive dysfunction, and need to hear that, yes, what they’re experiencing is real and has an explanation that isn’t “you just don’t try hard enough”. I know that those people exist, because I used to be one of them. And I aspire to be the kind of person I needed earlier in my life.
For anybody who needs to hear it: You’re not just being lazy. There are ways to deal with executive function issues. Other people are fighting similar battles to yours. You’re not alone.
And to anybody who doesn’t have executive dysfunction, but is reading this in an effort to learn, thank you. Anybody can look at a person who has trouble completing tasks and just call them lazy, but it takes a special person to dig deeper. We need people like you.
Thanks for reading. See you next time!
